--People who wait until the last possible second to shift lanes when the one they are in is ending are assholes. I hope you and your car get raped by sea lions. I also hope those sex-offending sea lions have some rare, incurable form of sea-chlamydia, so you can live with that shame your whole life.

--Anybody who is upset about Jon and Kate's impending divorce is a dumbass. If they cared about staying married, they would have quit the show to work on it. Next season, the show should be called "Jon & Kate plus H8", and feature Jon and Kate fighting each other in armed combat. Winner takes all (the kids).

I feel like kicking my own ass for knowing as much as I do about this whole "Jon and Kate" bullshit. I've never seen the show; I just read too many gossip websites, because apparently I have a vagina.

--We fucking suck at updating this website. Seriously, we're jerks.

--You know what's annoying as balls? People who pace back and forth while you are trying to talk to them. We're just talking about the weather, why the fuck won't you stop moving?

--I finally got around to listening to NPR. Holy shit, this is what I've been hearing such great things about? It reminded me of when I was five years old, and my dad used to always have AM radio on in the car, making a five minute drive feel like a five week drive.

"Hello, I'm monotone, and because I sound boring, you'll think I'm great. This is NPR."

--Getting mail is awesome. Except when that mail is a letter from a lawyer saying you owe the county $200. Apparently there was a county tax I was supposed to pay when I bought my car three and a half years ago. I looked it up, and because I bought my car in a different county, the dealership didn't have to tell me about it. Three years and $200 later, I find out it exists. I don't think I can go three months without some god damn car bullshit showing up and costing me money.

--I hate cars.